GFH IC Contact

[protective_logic]

If you're hearing this message that means I'm not available at the moment.
So if you'd please leave your contact info and your message I'll get back to you at the first possible moment.
If there is a family related emergency, just keep trying until you get through.

Comments

[protective_logic]

My family and my job. And you I guess.

That's all I have.

[shipitsupersonic]

That's more than I have.

[protective_logic]

Right. I... sorry. I forgot.

[shipitsupersonic]

I didn't mean to make you feel bad. Just...your life is not over because you and your boyfriend broke up.

[protective_logic]

I lost something I can never get back.

[shipitsupersonic]

But not everything.

[protective_logic]

Some days that doesn't feel true.

[shipitsupersonic]

Then I'll remind you. You can survive this. It's amazing what you can survive.

[protective_logic]

I hate being here, hurting like this.

[shipitsupersonic]

What can I do to help?

[protective_logic]

Nothing. I just... I miss that feeling you get when you know you're loved. But whatever.

[shipitsupersonic]

Your family loves you.

[protective_logic]

That's not the same. You get that, right? Familial love isn't the same.

[shipitsupersonic]

I've never known any other kind.

[protective_logic]

I have. And... I miss it.

[shipitsupersonic]

Is it true? That it's better to have it and lose it than never know it?

[protective_logic]

No. I could have lived my life and never known this pain. It's more consuming than the joy. The joy becomes your life. The pain as well. The pain eats me up inside.

[shipitsupersonic]

I'm sorry.

[protective_logic]

It's...

[A short, bitter laugh.]

I almost said it's okay. But it's not. It's terrible. And he's a fucking hypocrite. I can't think of someone who has more reason to believe in second chances than him, and look at him not giving one.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to put this on you. I will stop. Once this storm lets me free.

[shipitsupersonic]

What's with him and second chances?

Don't stop. Tell me everything. I want to hear it.

[protective_logic]

He... one could say that the entire life he lives now is a second chance. But it isn't my story to tell.

It's a story I grow tired of remembering. Why can't I just be happy about all the positive changes he made in my life? Why must I be so greedy as to want to have it back?

[shipitsupersonic]

Because it was yours, and it was a good thing, and it's not fair you had to lose it.

[protective_logic]

I'm the one that destroyed it. It's fair to myself to suffer for my own decisions.

[shipitsupersonic]

You didn't destroy it for fun, though.

[protective_logic]

Nor for any intelligent reason really.