Journal Entry [0013]

It's not often that I find people who are comfortable to sit around quietly and enjoy the company of someone else. Really, it feels like a rare thing. I suppose that has to do with these helmets. When you spend so much of your time hidden away from other people, it can be a comfort to have the noises to assure you someone else is there.

I don't need that with Maine. As much as I'm fond of his voice, I find myself warmed just by his silent presence. By the smart flash of his fingers and hands through a language that we both share and prefer. Is it weird that I prefer that even though I choose to hide that it feels more natural to me than speech?

Honestly, I'm thankful to the Counselor for few things. My implants, the speech therapy so I wouldn't have trouble pronouncing things, those I can thank him for. He didn't have to do that. With everything he actually did it's easier to be shocked that he would offer such a kindness to me. But in the end fear created this... this partition. There is the me that talks and smiles and chatters with my siblings and is polite with strangers. The one that doesn't like to look people in the eye because I don't want to start conversations because frankly I can't imagine what people would want to talk to me about.

And then there is me with Maine. Sometimes I wonder if my fingers can even keep up with all I want to say.