GFH IC Contact

[protective_logic]

If you're hearing this message that means I'm not available at the moment.
So if you'd please leave your contact info and your message I'll get back to you at the first possible moment.
If there is a family related emergency, just keep trying until you get through.

Comments

[baruthumos]

What about Alpha and Beta? They got taken away.

Epsilon got shot and the only thing that had to do with mercenaries was Maine rescuing him. Your implants died and mercenaries lent us the money and helped us after your surgery.

And just because me and Sigma hadn't beem hurt yet doesn't mean we were safe.

[protective_logic]

Please stop. If you want to lecture me, tell me how unfair it was ever ever lead him on, because being in a relationship with someone where you can't really commit to them for thirteen years is cruel. Tell me how cowardly I am to do it just after our anniversary. Point out how kind and supportive he's been to me and how I bailed out the second things got hard for him.

If you're going to be an asshole, at least do it by echoing all the things that are already cycling in my head. I'd prefer a new voice to my self-loathing.

Otherwise just stop. Because there is nothing you can say or do that will hurt more than knowing I was never going to be good enough for him. That I could never be what he deserved. That I will never know happiness or joy like he gave me ever again.

[baruthumos]

I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm trying to understand how you and I can come to such fundamentally different conclusions with the same data.

[protective_logic]

The conclusions have ceased to matter, Omega.

[baruthumos]

If you grovel sufficently, he might take you back.

[protective_logic]

I don't think he would, Omega. He gave me his earrings. He...

I don't think he would. It would be below him to do so, and I wouldn't deserve it if he did.

[baruthumos]

You could always ask. What's the worst that could happen?

[protective_logic]

He has any scrap of self respect and tells me what I deserve to hear.

[baruthumos]

And how would you be worse off?

[protective_logic]

Because I'll know with absolute certainty that I really am the cruel, worthless, miserable speck of a man that is going to be alone forever and deserves that without a doubt.

[baruthumos]

At least then you won't be tortured by hope.

[protective_logic]

I don't think there is a drop of hope left in me for anything. So please, just let me be.

[baruthumos]

I'm still mad at you. Maine's my friend. Why did you hurt my friend?

[protective_logic]

Because I want to protect our family.

[baruthumos]

Again. From what? We already have to protect them from twin-stealing ninjas and my punch-clock evil ex girlfriend. What could Maine bring to us that would need extra precautions?

[protective_logic]

I told you, I did the math. An increase in mercenary contact and relations increases physical risk to our family. Numbers don't lie.

[baruthumos]

What's the standard deviation and the speficity?

[protective_logic]

[Attached: Pages and pages of documents and calculations leading to a clear and marked conclusion that mercenaries equal danger. But a lot of the quantifying is done in obscure, high end theoretical math.]

And you yet again ignore the fact that it's not that simple. It's not just that. I was never right telling him that I expected him to be mine, only mine, and ignore the fact that the same wasn't true from me. I was always first and foremost belonging to the Ai family and our needs. He was never first. Could never be first. Not for thirteen years.

[baruthumos]

Seemed like he was okay with it... I cannot believe you actually did math. Where did you get the numbers and that is a rhetorical question. Seriously. Next time I call you crazy? This is why

[protective_logic]

I don't think he understood, Omega. I don't think he COULD understand how family comes first. This... eventually I would ave gone too far with this. I would have hurt him. Better now than later, right?

[baruthumos]

Or you could let him make his own choices like an adult.

[protective_logic]

Whereas my choices, made as an adult, get criticized?

Make up your mind.

[baruthumos]

Oh, I'd critize his choices too. There's no point where I stop. There's no point you stop either.

[protective_logic]

Well I'm stopping now. I'm done with this conversation. We all get it. I'm a failure who has destroyed the one good thing in his life. Can you belabor that point when you get home next? It's hard enough sleeping without this.