protective_logic | GFH IC Contact

We cannot hold him back forever, Omega. I'm scared too. But he needs this chance. One we haven't had. Isn't that what all of this is about? Giving them chances we denied ourselves?

I would rather have him try now and have something passing for a normal college experience. I want him to try this and learn how to manage his own finances, maintain his own living situation, feed himself and all of that while he has us and Beta as a safety net.

A chance at independence and to learn, but someone there to help pick him up if he falls down. That's what he needs. Because in the end you do realize that he's got a chance of being on his own for grad school. Do you want that to be his first experience be then when he's far away and he can't come home if something springs a leak or he messes up somehow?

I want him to learn when we can help him. I want us to have a chance to SLOWLY get used to the idea of him being around less. He needs this, and we need to accept that. Please, support him in this. Because I think this will be the only way that either of US could get used to little Siggy being away.

Maybe next year. Maybe in six months. Maybe once he performs a single chore on his own initiative. Maybe when he keeps track of basic things like if he has health insurance.

I remember when you were twenty-one, and you were not half the overgrown manchild he is. Where did we go wrong?

The answer is we did everything. We coddled them. But when I left, I gave him everything. Every thing I did, every thing I was responsible for. And when I came back? Nothing had fallen apart. He was scared, and he was upset, and he promised to do it.

I believe if we just give him the chance, then he'll prove us proud. He'll show that we didn't let our older siblings down. We have a responsibility to let him try. Because that will build confidence for Gamma someday. And Theta, and the twins.

I figure one or the other of us are stick with Epsilon indefinitely.

Do you think I would have let the others get punished because Sigma couldn't deal? Did you forget I got fired because I was taking care of the twins?

A job you were quitting. Regardless, I trust him, Omega. And he's doing this.

I suppose the question is this. Is he going to succeed with your support, knowing that his older brother can have faith in him and not become afraid to admit failures for fear of lectures and mocking. Or will have have to succeed in spite of you, and never feel like he can turn to you for anything?

Tell me, Omega. Do you so desperately want out of his life?

What has he ever done to earn such faith in him on your part?

Omega... It's okay to be scared that he's not going to be here as much. I'm scared too. But we can't hold him back. I don't want him to go. I feel like I can protect him better if he's with me.

Which I'm pretty sure most parents feel. z

But the decision has been made. Sigma made it himself. It is his to make and his right. And the sooner you learn to support it and him, the better we will all be.

I don't have to like it. You get that, right? I don't have to like it in the slightest. And if he's so dead-set on playing house, I'm not going to smile and nod and watch him set himself on fire.

I didn't ask you to like it. I'm telling you that this is happening, regardless of your desires. But if you are so dead set on playing the villain, such is your right.

He's doing this.

You will have no choice but to accept it, or you will prove that one of the things he must learn to 'survive' in life outside of our family is your constant insistence that he will fail. I pray it is not a weight around his neck on his way to great things.

You still haven't answered my question. He couldn't even remember to tell me, what makes you think he can pull this off?

At least when he fails, he won't be embarrassed to admit it to me. I don't have unreasonable expectations.

You're kidding, right? When he fails, he will REFUSE to admit it. He will never own his mistakes because all you will do is gloat. And speaking from experience, there is NOTHING you do that is more hurtful.

He can pull this off because he's our brother. He's smart. He learns fast. And he knows when to get help. And he's going to do this.

And months from now when he's comfortable and well set, you're just going to be the bitter man who couldn't admit to the possibility of his success. We allow for his failure and prepare to help him if he needs it. You scream his doom and do NOTHING to support him.

This is happening. Nothing else matters. But if this is how you must feel and react, then it is such. But I will not listen to your belittle Ian's abilities just because you're scared of losing him. And the only reason I can do it despite how much it scares me, is because I've let myself believe in him.

One, I don't gloat, and two, that's a whole lot of projecting you're doing there. And I'm not going to talk to you if you're going to pretend to be psychic.

He's going to do this, and he's going to make us proud of how well he does. Or he'll need help. Either way he's never going to learn if he doesn't DO first.

For the third time, cupcake, do you have any evidence? Or are you hoping the power of the friendship of your love is going to summon magical fucking fairies?

[And there's a hole in the bedroom wall.]

I heard that, and you are to fix that tomorrow.

This conversation is over.

And for when you wonder, looking back on this whole situation, where you went wrong... Well, you failed to be supportive, as a big brother should be.

Of course I'm going to fix it. I always fix everything. Like I'm going to fix this before the next semester's over.

And when he does fall flat on his face, then I'll be almost anything he needs. I do draw the line at holding his hand while he skips merrily towards disaster.

Have you no faith in any of us?

Faith is a candle where reason is the sun. What reasons have you given me?

Sigma will not be relying entirely on himself for food, as he will be home for dinner more than not. In addition to that he's been using his own money to feed himself lunch and snacks throughout the whole of college. Unlike you, who gives me money and gets an allowance back. He manages his own income from his job to figure out what needs to go to books, what can go to clothes, and what gets put to the family. Most of his shopping for clothes that aren't from birthdays he does himself, and the first time I allowed him to do this on his own he didn't go to buy big name items, but rather to acquire more items at a reasonable price.

Sigma is entirely capable of maintaining a clean environment. His time working janitorial allows for the experience for this. With an area that he must tend to on his own with no assistance, I believe he will manage it.

And finance management is best learned from doing, something I learned myself. He has a mathematically suited mind to manage this thing.

Yes, there is a touch of faith. But notice how neither Tex nor I have suggested failing to support him. And at the same time I don't speak in absolutes on this. I suggest he might fail. That he deserves the chance. These are debatable points.

You, on the other hand, have solely asserted failure with no chance of success. With the aim of keeping Sigma in our home. Absolute statements, assuring failure, and aiming to maintain the status quo.

Strange. I am reminded of the departure of the Counselor. In fact, the attempt to control is very counselor.

[Another hole punched in the wall, and a flipped bed for good measure.]

Fine. He wants to go play house, I won't stop him. I will stay very much out of his way while he learns that his actions have no consequences, that he can take without giving back anything in return, and that all of you will smile and wave while he courts disaster.

Maybe, when York dies, Epsilon will go sit with Sigma and you can use their room for Maine to comfort you. With his penis. Be sure to say the right name.

He isn't courting disaster. He isn't playing. And someday you'll learn that it isn't necessary to use Price's techniques to control us, because we aren't trained dogs to be called to heel.

You are a fool, a blind fool. I am nothing like him. This isn't...you aren't...you're ... just because you're too afraid doesn't mean!

[the distinct sounds of a full on toddler style temper tantrum.]

No, you aren't the same as him. You use anger and violence where he used words and authority. But you both seem to enjoy insisting on failure, and finding the right words to make us doubt and hate ourselves.

But no, you aren't him. But there are times where you attempt to have the control he had. I wonder if he feared losing control of us as well.

And that is all I have to say on the topic. If you don't mind, I have to give the twins their bath.

It is no more control than keeping Theta from crawling off the couch was!

Do you see Sigma as still a toddler?

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